I must blog about all of my fortune cookie fortunes. I actually have a few more at home that I’ll just have to save for next time.

First item of business. My cookie today told me:

“You never hesitate to tackle the most difficult problems.”

That is so not true. (Also, not a fortune, as usual). I’d much rather tackle the easy problems so I can get them off of my to-do list!

I had another in my wallet from last time (OK, they’ve been piling up for a little while!):

“You are gifted in many ways.”

Thank you for noticing, little stale cookie!

Anyway, the best of the day went to the co-worker who may or may not be contemplating the field of medical research.

“Handsome is that handsome dose.”

Yes, that is what the cookie said. The typo is not mine. My co-worker has actually got this fortune before, with the same misspelling.

And a Google search tells me other people have, too!

“Don’t be hasty, prosperity will knock on your door soon.”

I was glad my fortune cookie was not empty this time, and upon first read, it was nice to know I would soon be blessed with riches. (because what a fortune cookie tells you is always true, right?)

Then I started reading into it.

Don’t be hasty? What does that have to do with my impending wealth?

If I knew someone was going to knock on my door and present me with a giant check, shouldn’t I hastily quit my job to make sure I’m home to greet my benefactor? Besides, I won’t need to work anymore, now that I’m prosperous.

Perhaps a non-native English speaker is making up these fortunes. It almost works if you use a less-common meaning. Number five on the dictionary.com definition list is “impatient; impetuous; thoughtless; injudicious.”

Out of that list, impatient could work I suppose:

“Hang in there, prosperity will knock on your door soon!”

Half the time, they are statements instead of fortunes. My co-worker, who went to lunch with me, got one that said something about him being “generous to the extreme.”

Maybe he will be writing me a big check?

It seems like a bad sign. I did not eat the cookie.